What If Feeling Unworthy Is A Lie You Learned

Finishing a full semester should feel like pure celebration, but sometimes the win comes with shaking hands, tears, and a nervous system that still expects the worst. We talk honestly about deadline pressure, proctored exams, and why time limits can make you spiral even when you know the material. That real-life moment becomes a doorway into something deeper: what happens when your outer progress collides with your inner wounds. 

We also open up a raw 2025 recap that is too big to fit into tidy monthly categories. The theme is faith-based healing that moves from learning to living: identifying triggers, confronting long-held lies, and letting God bring core wounds to the surface so they can finally be addressed. Using the language of the outer courts, inner courts, and the Holy of Holies, we explore spiritual growth, the cost of closeness with God, and why not everyone is willing or able to go where you are going. 

One of the clearest takeaways comes through a simple metaphor: fuel. Some people run fine on regular, but others require something different, and copying someone else’s “grade” can break you down. We connect that to identity, emotional health, and support systems, then name the painful belief that can grow out of it: “I cost too much.” If you have ever expected people to leave, struggled with unworthiness, or wondered why others seem intimidated by you while you feel small, this conversation puts language to that experience and offers a path forward. 

If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who is doing the hard work of healing, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What part of your healing journey are you ready to stop doing alone?

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Welcome And The B Clay Path

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome. Welcome to another episode of B Clay. Thanks for tuning in today. I appreciate you and I appreciate it. As you know, I say that you can listen to anyone else, but you are here listening to me today, and I greatly appreciate it. So I am excited, you guys. So I so first of all, okay. Oh, I'm sorry. Let me let me start over because for those who are new who have never been here before, if this is your first time here, welcome. Okay. Hi, how are you? My name is Alisa, and here on the B Clay podcast, you are on a journey with me as we are learning how to just what? B Clay. And in with B Clay, we are not to tell the potter what we should be and how we should be, right? And what is our purpose? We are allowing ourselves to be molded and fent the potter to do what he wants to do. Okay, now let's go back. First of all, I'm so excited. So usually, right, um, I record on Sunday and um I you know try to have these things uploaded by Wednesday. The Wednesday is the date to upload it, but I have been really trying to change it because recently, um, or lately, shall I say, um,

Recording Challenges And A New Schedule

SPEAKER_00 2:05

doing it on Sundays, even if I do it, I've been changing my times when I'm actually recording. However, I feel like I'm put picking the wrong times because people be up into mounting outside, and I always be trying to figure out, oh my god, can they hear everybody outside and different things? And it's been very hard, um, even with the editing of things like that. So I have changed it this week. Decided not to uh not to record on this Sunday because of you know, like uh yeah, we we don't we don't pick the right times to do so. So today is actually Wednesday earlier in the morning, but I wanted to just say uh we're excited because guess what you guys? Like I finally finished a whole semester at WGU, okay? Yay! You know, applause. Okay, so I told you you guys that we are, I am I am on this crazy uh you know, whatever you want to call it, but it's crazy because I'm really trying to finish this by August 31st. I am way behind. Um, I did have a whole you know mapped out plan that it wasn't going to it as crazy as it was, it actually was doable. But uh I'm I'm behind you guys. I am behind, and but I I know that I gotta do this for myself. I do, I really do. I have to do this. So um for everyone who is like you know, keeping me accountable and encouraging me and pushing me, like this, you got this. I appreciate it because I definitely need it, okay. Um, but I finally finished and I'm so excited about this um because of the fact

Finishing A WGU Semester

SPEAKER_00 3:55

that you know it really taught me just I don't know, like I'm really gonna get into the when I get to 2026, but it's really been teaching me like how much God really like don't play about me and how much he really loves me. And um, because I was just sitting here like God, I don't know. Like I've been back and forth because I'm I'm behind, you know. You have a plan and we sat down, me and God, let's go. And he and I haven't been following the way, and I'm like, well, it's too late. And he like, but he just had to keep telling me, like, he said, you could do all things through me. What are we doing here? You know, um, and I'm just you know, and all these little, I'm not gonna say anxieties, but that these little things that has made me nervous for so many different reasons, you know, um, of me really finishing, like I have got discovered so fast, like I almost quit, like, oh my god, like at least you know this stuff, like understand it, and you know, we can really talk ourselves out of some things and we can really, you know, overthink some things. There's a lot of things we can do, and I'm not gonna say it's already taste, but when coming tests taken and stuff like that, we have these all these, first of all, I don't like proctor tests. I just start let's just start right there. I I do not like first of all, not just proctor tests, I don't really like time tests. Like it's something about time tests when you be sitting a clock and oh my god, oh my god, right?

Test Anxiety And Getting Past The Hump

SPEAKER_00 5:30

But not to be timed and is proctor, like, oh my god, it just it just sends me to a whole different thing. Um I would love to have that job though, like by all means, but to be the one that you know sit there, that's just like my god, but they're doing it differently, so it's not as taxing, you know. Somebody's sitting there watching every little thing you do. But with all that being said, yes, I I did it, you guys. Okay, so but I know I did know that once I that once I finally you know sorry guys, that I didn't know that once I finally take this, like get this together, then I it will basically set the trajectory for the rest of the courses. I just had to get past this first hump and I did it. I did it, yo guys. I did it. So I'm excited because I did it. Like I literally was crying, like I literally had tears, like, oh my god, when I saw the pass, because you get you know, as soon as you finish this, it's right there, and I literally cried, like I can't believe this thing. This is crazy. So but here we are. So enough for the announcements, enough for the morning announcements. So here we are. So with that being said, hi

Why 2025 Feels Too Big

SPEAKER_00 7:12

you guys, we are uh in 2025. Okay, we're starting off with 2025, we made it to 2025, we are almost at 2026, I think. We're we in just like this July 22nd, so I think. I actually I'm not even gonna try. Let's not, let's not, because I told you guys last in the last episode that uh unlike the other epis, you know, episodes of the other years, I was able to do 2025 um as a you know month by month. This year, that is not happening. I can't, it's just too massive for me to really take into you know, um, it's too massive for me to just do this month by month. It's just too much, okay? Because so much has happened, which in each month um in 2025 that it literally is just too much for me to go like January, February, March, April. Like, no, I will be bringing into what happens in certain months and different things, but so much has happened. So let's begin. Let's begin. So 2025, I'm trying to tell you, like 2025 was a lot, you guys. It was a lot. Um so in 2024, right? In 2024, I I basically, okay, so 2024, the end of 2024,

2024 Review And God’s Study Guide

SPEAKER_00 9:08

I told you, remember I said that, you know, God was telling me basically, like, whenever you go through this this year, you're gonna fail, right? And so the end of 2024, he basically, you know, was began to like, you know, reviewing the tests that I have gone through throughout the year and explaining to me why I failed and how to pass it, basically. You know how if you fail a test and the teacher is allowing you to take it over again, but they give you that study guide. Their study guide is a breakdown of each question of what's the correct answer and how to obtain the correct answer. And basically, the end of 2024 was that. And I came to the conclusion at that time of how much God actually honored our relationship from me as a little girl. That little girl that loved him so much that desired, not just desired, but like yearn to be in his presence, love to be in his presence, and understand that to be in his presence, um, that's you know, the Bible says no flesh can glory in his presence, and I understood that even as a young girl, and so and he honored that, he honored that, and so with them honoring that, which is one of the main reasons why he allowed me to go through the things that I went through and actually failed, not as a punishment, but for me to learn and understand so that I can get to the place where I can get to to be able to get back to the holies of holies and to his presence, right? Because right now I can't get in with everything that I will be carrying into his presence like that, right? And so he is, you know, being such a great and awesome God as he is, and allowing me to clean me up and to heal and set free, and so that I can really just, you know, because his presence is awesome, you guys. I I'm trying to tell you, so that's what he was, and part of that, like I said, um, you know, I began to not just you know, as I'm understanding it, understand that every first of all, everyone cannot go with you, everyone can't go with you. Sorry guys, um, everyone can't go with you, and so I had to begin to start, you know, weaning off people that can't go with me. It's you know, simple as that. So now we here we are in 2025. Now, though we are we just went through this testing review, and I realized I'm telling you the watch night, it was like, yes, God, I realize how much you honor our relationships, is what I said. And I'm just so and so in all of that, yes, God. And I tell you guys, I told you everything starts January 1st. It does not give me any time to even have, I don't breathe, I don't, you know, basically, it's just like straight, right? Do not pass go, do not pass one, do not collect $200. We just we just go right into it right away. And so January 1st is here, and it just seemed like I was just flooded with everything. Um, a lot of that inner we now, you know, I've been dealing with a lot of things, getting to the root of where I you know get into the root of a lot of things, and um, throughout these last couple of years, we've been talking about that. So 2025, remember I told you there are layers to these things, there are levels to these things, to this stuff of healing, and there was one part that I did not touch or I did not um, I guess I say, like I knew was there, but I didn't understand to the extent of what it was, and it's how much I felt unworthy. I began to talk about that in the intro um of 2025, but I didn't understand how much I felt like I was just like nothing, and um so like I I I like I said I love God's presence. Um, I do not function. We do not function in

Healing Has Levels And A Cost

SPEAKER_00 13:40

the outer courts. I know some people just love it to be in it, not me. We do not function, and I'm saying it like they're on purpose because we do not function, we we just can't. The outer courts, we just can't, and it's some I just can't I just can't do it, right? And then the inner courts, yeah, we're here, but it's the holies of holies where I is where I belong, right? And so, and everyone can get there, and I get that. So, I'm not even trying to laborate because you it's it's a cost to get there, it's a cost to be there, and uh everybody is not willing to even for those that are able to get there that God will allow you to be there. People are not even willing to pay the cost to be there. By all means, do not if you cannot. That's okay, but at least it will pay the cost because I love it there, it's amazing, and you know, the inner courts is is great, it's better than the outer courts, but oh Jesus, that holds the whole is where the place to be. Um, and so with that being said, with that being said, understanding the cost. Like we growing up, you know, I as of right now we're growing up in church, um, we talk about the holies of holies, but not we a lot of us or a lot of people did not really understand and know that there's a cost to get there and understanding what the cost is. And I understood the cost, and I was willing to pay the cost. And with that, means there were there was a standard that there's a standard like there was a standard to get there, right? And so I started to feel because I knew the standards, I I was upholding the standards to get to the Holy S of Holies. With this being said, um I gravitated because I have these standards as mindset, it's not like everybody's mindset and everybody's standards, right? Because some people don't mind just staying in the outer courts or staying in the inner courts, and you know, at least it we mm, I that's

The Diesel Analogy For Identity

SPEAKER_00 16:18

not for me, right? And it's nothing, and I'm not gonna say there's nothing wrong with it. What I'm saying is, okay, so I did let me let me backtrack. Let me backtrack because I so um there's a reason why that there is different grade of gas, right? And with each grade, there is a cost. The cheapest, as we know, is regular, okay, and majority of everybody that drives and the majority of vehicles that we is utilize on these streets are utilizing the uh are able to, you know, fill up on regular. Okay, but depending on the car that you have, then you know there will be some cars that require you to put in the higher grade of gas, which means that it's going to be a higher cost coming out of your pockets that you have to pay in order for your vehicle to function properly. So, with that being said, in order for this vehicle, me, to function properly, I cannot take regular, I cannot take the mid. I can't even take premium. I basically take diesel. Okay, and so with that being said, and I understand the cost. Now, there's some people who, you know, car can take it just works just fine with the regular, but they choose to take, you know, to uh do premium or 89 or whatever the case may be um for their car for for their preferences or whatever. Some people believe it's gonna their car work better, and it's you know, to each its own, right? It doesn't, I wouldn't tell you to take diesel if you don't have the capacity to withhold and withstand diesel. And the only way for you to understand what type of gas or grade of gas or things for your vehicle to function, you would actually have to get the uh instructions from the manufacturer. So you know uh you knew that your car takes premium because hello the manufacturer makes sure that you understood and know that hey, you just can't bid do anything in here, right? It's on the gas cap, it's uh you know, different areas in the car. On the car, it shows and tells you what type of gas. And there's something in that glove department was called a book in the manual if you read it, right? Which I don't know how many people actually read it, but it actually tells you, and from the manufacturer, the manufacturer basically shows you and tells you, and you can always go to your manufacturer websites and different things like that to actually make sure that you're doing and I'm sorry again, you guys. Yes, so going to the manufacturer, seeking out the manufacturer to know and understand exactly what you need to be able to function. That is the main thing, and you can't look and go and compare yourself to what other people need because that's not what you need, right? Because you can really mess up your you can mess, you can be really messed up basically utilizing or refueling yourself or taking the same uh taking the same dosage, even everything that other people are using, not understanding that we all made up of different components, right? Uh I always I when um I learned this analogy um as far as I you know I take diesel um and understanding I actually had a shirt called It's okay that I know that I'm rare because I understood that I was rare. Like not everybody, you know, can take, and that's fine because it's a lot of people that you know I know people that what they take or they can utilize, I can't do it. I don't have the capacity to do so. We have to learn to love, you know, love where we are and who we are, and not just not don't look at everybody, like don't look at everybody else. Like I'm saying, like I'm here telling you how I heal. This is how I heal. I had to begin to learn. 2025 was really a um was me, I have did extensive work throughout the rest of these years past prior, right? From once I learned about my you know, the attachment theories, like that, that right there, I told you guys, like I I was literally on his face every single day. Let's go. And I have, but now in 2025, it was really time for me to walk in it, and this is why the beginning of the year was such a struggle because I literally have to

Walking In Truth Not Old Lies

SPEAKER_00 21:52

um like walk in it. Like I'm I'm understanding and beginning to identify my triggers. And I begin to identify what it is, but now we need to walk in it. So now we need to turn these lies that I have been believing all my life. And you know, uh, let's figure out the truth and walk in that instead. And so I told you guys there's layers to this, these things, there's levels to this stuff, and so to now walk in the truth is a lot, right? But it needed to be done. So back to the 20, you know, the analogy of gas, and I'm just saying this because I don't know who all those who may be watching Amazon Race, because I love Amazon Race and I watched it. I always think about there was an episode where there were teams, the teams on this leg, uh, they had uh these cars, right? To get to their, you know, the you know, the all those destinations to, you know, for during the race. And these cars uh took diesel fuel. Now, mind you, the distances that um the teams had to go, eventually they had to fill up in gas, right? So every you seen every team on this, you know, every team that they think it was about at least spot. It was it was a good number, right? It was a good number. It wasn't down to like three, four, it was a real good number, like maybe I think maybe about six or seven. And every you seen everybody who went now there were teams where a couple people in the teams where they realized, oh yeah, this take diesel. There was, you know, there's a couple in one or two teams where like one team they was about to put regular because they didn't, and then they realized, oh snap, it takes diesel, right? No, not everybody to be honest, no one really um like before because we do this though, right? No one really, not one team, I at least don't believe remember, actually checked the car and checked to see to make sure. Does this car take regular before it put it in there? They were just about to put it in there, automatically assume that it takes regular. And it wasn't until something happened or whatever case and be, like one was just like uh, you know, he was about to, he got distracted, and then all of a sudden look like, oh snap, it takes diesel like that. But they didn't check before they actually began to push the you know, they didn't check first before they start the process of filling filling up the car. And so there were so there were only two teams, two teams that actually did fill the car up with the diesel, but one team was able to like, oh snap, this the car started acting up, but he realized like, oh, this is diesel, and he knew what to do. One team they you know he knew how to drain it out and then like go back and put gas, you know, record gas in or whatever it used to be. So another team that they did not have that, you know, have that knowledge of what to do, so they actually broke down on the side of the road and they had to call for another car. And I'm saying that all to say that is that you really you gotta be careful and check with yourself, and it's going to be a part of the process and your healing journey where you begin to really learn what it is that I need to be able to function properly. You no longer are going to utilize what you thought that you need based off other people, based off what someone told you, because that's not working, obviously, because this is where we are. You have to actually go to the manufacturer, that's the best way to do it, right? Um, to go if you have a Hyundai to go to you know Volkswagen and be like, hey, what do I need? They'd be like, look at you like you're crazy, right? The best thing to do is to go to the manufacturer and to figure this out. And so here in 2025, it was a it was a struggle, it was definitely a struggle because of the fact that I had this was the year when I had to really learn how to walk in the truth. I did all this massive, extensive healing and allowing

The Core Wound Of Unworthiness

SPEAKER_00 26:43

God to, you know, allowing him to have surgery. And I stayed there and I remember I talked about how you know that I was in rushing the process and everything else. And what it did was it brung to the surface, it brought to the surface now a couple things was happening that one, and I've explained this in the intro, I explained this in the intro, on one side, and it was multiple sides, right? So on one side, as I am learning how to walk in these truths, as God is really allowing what I learned later on in 2025, these core wounds to come to the surface so that we can deal with it, so that I can really walk into the truth in his truth. Um, as I'm walking, or as these core wounds is coming to the surface, baby, it's a struggle because it's like, oh my goodness, right? Um, because I had to deal with the major core wound, which I'm really going to get into in the next episode of me feeling unworthy and why I feel unworthy. And so, and however, there was a trigger, right? The trigger was here I am walking around feeling unworthy, feeling like you know, uh, because with the underst with coming to the understanding that I in order for this me to function, then I take diesel, correct? And so therefore, if someone's going to pour into me, that means they will be able they will have to have the fuel to the correct fuel to pour into me, right? And that's also it costs me to fill up with diesel, right? But it also will cost other people because like we go to the gas station, right? And there are some gas stations that believe they don't actually have diesel fuel, and so they just can't go to any other gas station, and so with that being said, there are some people who don't have that grade of fuel to refuel me to pour into me. So this is where I started saying I cost too much. Right? Instead of just saying that, you know, I just you know, I just accepting that I'd say diesel, I started saying, well, this makes sense, this is why people, you know, um weren't there in the way that I needed them to be, uh, because they didn't have the capacity, but then there were some where I felt like this is why, like I understood, like I had to say, oh, you didn't have the capacity. Then there were some that I, as far as I was concerned, like you chose to be in my life, and you chose to be in this position in my life. Why didn't you get to the place that I need you to be to pour into me with what I needed, right? And I said, Well, because Alisa, you you cost too much, and that was the unworthiness, but we had to deal with that, and so I struggled, like Alisa, you do cost too much, and I kept saying that over and over again, Lisa, you cost too much, you cost too much, and um, you know, and eventually I expected everyone to leave me because Alisa, you cost too much, and I was really, although I was learning to walk, um, and you know, trying to learn how to walk in the new truths, I expected to walk alone. I was preparing myself to walk alone because Lisa, you cost too much. Uh and I'm talking about in every area we're talking about in church, we're talking about family, we're talking about friends, we're talking about basically every area because you cost too much. That's what I was saying. You cost too much, Lisa, you cost too much. And I, you know, on one hand, I'm like, I wasn't upset to some degree about it, because it makes sense of all the things I've gone through up until now. But what made it harder

Why People React The Way They Do

SPEAKER_00 32:06

or what made a challenge was understanding that I cost too much. People was treating me like I don't know, maybe I intimidate them. I don't understand what was I can't really pinpoint exactly what, but they were treating me as, and I just was under couldn't understand what it was. Then I had to start thinking, like, what do people see then, right? Versus what I see, because people see something that I don't see. Because why are you treating me as if I'm out here, you know, this person, like this big old massive, like I didn't know what, I don't know. It's just because as as because I called so much, I felt as still, I looked at myself as really still being very, very, very small. And so I still looked at myself as small, but people was treating me as if like I'm out here the big old gigantic uh I'm gonna say this person, but I don't know. I guess I guess in my I I guess they they treated me as if I was this person and they were intimidated by who I am. And I couldn't understand how uh you were intimidated how who I am, and it I was and then I was like that's dirt over. So it was me feeling mediocre, right? And yet the reactions that I would receive to people was like I'm trying to be better than them or something like that, and I really wasn't, and they were it and there was a they were acting as if like I'm like I'm intimidating them, which I couldn't understand how I intimidate you. Like if I felt like if all you had to do was just ask me and I explained that into the other one that and I would have told you if you would have had a conversation with me, you would understand that like what you see is not how I think at all about myself whatsoever. And so I had this question um that proposed, like, what is it that people see about me? And it was a question that um that needed to be answered. That question wasn't answered until uh months later. However, these first few months of the year, that question really just every day I woke up just struggling. Um, I cried because I just couldn't understand why I was being mocked the way I was being mocked. I was being uh ridiculed and like it wasn't just people's voices, but I mean like people said out of their mouths, but it was just things that people the way they looked at me, the way they treated the cutting the eyes and different things, like oh my god, and I'm just like, but I didn't even say anything, I didn't even do anything for the most part. Yeah, I was um you know trying to stay at God's feet even the more so because I was hurting, I was in pain, I was suffering, and he is the only constant that I know, and so I I just needed him even the more, as I'm because again, like I'm talking about every fear, and again, these core wounds was coming to the surface and it was here, and as much as I used to, you know, push that down to the side because I've been doing that for some years, this year we couldn't,

“I Chose You” And Abandonment Pain

SPEAKER_00 36:18

but it was it was it was a heavy burden to bear, it was to carry, like every inner conversation, everything that I thought about myself came from all these people that picked me up and dropped me, and you know, and I just kept saying, but I'm not worthy, like why I'm not worthy, and at the same time, I I know that I I shouldn't feel this way because of Christ Himself. Of course I'm worthy because he made me worthy, and I know that the reason why I had to really deal with this is because he wanted me to know, not just like not just really, but know that I know that I know that I know and understand that I am worthy because he makes me worthy, and I could not receive it, and I remember because at one time I was in church and I was just literally like crying but soundly crying, and I was hearing the Lord like you know, I just wanted to be chosen, I just wanted to be like loved, and I just wanted people to just, you know, I just want to be poor, and I just wanted all these things, and I know that that's all who he is, and and I remember crying, he's like, Lisa, I chose you, and I and I heard him loud as day, but I could not receive it because of all those that supposedly chose to be in my life, and we you know, like my dad and the father figures, they did not they left, they left me, they abandoned me, they you know I cost too much. I costed too much, it would be too much of them to be able to be what they needed to be for me, and so I look at God the same way, but it's nothing that he did. We've been through so much already for me to know for real, for real, that he's not gonna drop me, he's not gonna abandon me, but yet I cannot hold faster in that enough to walk in that. And with that being said, like it it was painful, and I was struggling, and it it was a lot, you know, and I so badly wanted to just receive it, to just grab hold on it, to walk in it, to live in it, to I did, I wanted it so bad. I wanted to trust him, I wanted to trust that and know that because he's not a man that he can lie, and but it was everything was so loud, all of us was so loud, and I just knew that he had to allow me to go through all of that in order for me to get to where I am today, thank you, Lord. And I and I I could understand, I can't even understand and fathom the pain that he had to endure to watch his child hurt in that. Um, because even while he was crying, he said, I love you, and I did choose you, and he was just telling me all these things, and I was like, I know, but I kept saying to him, I know, but I know, but and I hear you, but you know, and so I leave this with you to sit down with yourself because a lot of times we, you know, again, like I said, we want to heal, you're gonna have

Hard Questions And Getting Support

SPEAKER_00 40:52

to go through those things, those that the hard questions that you are really not trying to ask yourself because you don't want to go through the process of getting the answer. And you may feel like me where you really have to sit in that moment that you felt unworthy too, and why you felt worthy, why do you don't trust people? Why you walk around talking about something? Oh, I hate people, or I don't like people. Why get to those core rooms and figure out why go to whoever you need to help you in this in this place. Now, you know, I have God, and I'm not I'm you know, again, I I'm not saying it was just God. Again, I told you I had someone that, you know, as we go therapy and things like that, I had I had multiple resources that I did talk to because you can't do this by yourself, and you know, you're gonna have to really dig deep. And depending how old you are, mind you, at this time I'm 38, I will be turned 39 that year, so I had 38 years worth of stuff, and depending on how old you are, and whoever listened to me, you if you're older than me, then you have way more years to figure that out of what you have to figure out, but at the end, and it's gonna hurt, and you're gonna want to turn back, but keep pressing because I did, but keep pressing because the cost of me, the cost of me not pressing will cost more than to me to press. Right, and so I apploy you to one begin to learn what is it that really makes me be able to function. I will say go to the manufacturer because we can tell ourselves anything. Like I said, there's people who really is okay with uh regular gas, but still because they whatever the choose and they tell themselves or whatever, their premium works better. I'm not gonna sit here and argue with that. My thing is we can tell ourselves anything, so it's best to go, you know, get someone who's gonna really tell us the absolute truth of what we really need and not necessarily ourselves, don't really try to trust yourself. So, with that being said, stay tuned. Stay tuned for the next episode when we really dig deep into uh the lessons that I have learned um within this in this struggle. Like, I have to be careful, okay? You have to be careful because the enemy is out there still, and he's not taking a break just because you're out here trying to heal. Because in reality, he doesn't want you to heal for real, for real. Because if you heal, once you heal and really know who you are, whose you are, uh you are a you are basically a threat to his kingdom. So of course he's gonna throw some things, he's gonna have you're gonna use people in the midst of it, and which is why I said please do not do this by yourself. Um try to find someone if you need help to find someone, like

Spiritual Warfare And Final Encouragement

SPEAKER_00 44:10

you know, let me know because of the fact that you're gonna need someone to cover you while you're in here. You know how, you know, like I said before, like when you are, I'm not saying that people can do it, I'm not saying they can't do it, just it's just harder. Um it's just harder. Uh, because I'm I'm not sure I can't talk about anybody who has been addicted to anything and had to go through, you know, getting clean by themselves. But when you have someone right there to wipe the sweat, to cover you, to pray over you um in this place, it just makes it easier because um the enemy is still right there. And he's matter of fact, I feel like he's even there even the more because he's gonna throw things there even the more. Just one one one because he doesn't want you to get free and he wants you to stay, like he wants you to walk around telling some I hate people. Of course he wants that, right? Because then he doesn't have to do anything because you do everything for him because you hate people, so you're gonna treat people nasty all the time. He ain't gotta do nothing, you doing it for him, and so once you begin to love people, so because love is a weapon, right? And so he doesn't want that with so um stay tuned, okay. Stay tuned, we will get into all of that even the more, and why I say get someone to cover you because the enemy is right there. So, with all that being said again, until next time, know that you are loved not just by little but greatly, not just by some, but by the one who created you in his love, and he is not the only one. We love you unconditionally, and there is nothing absolutely nothing that you can do to change that. You are the partner, so I am a big big clay.