Be Clay
" You are the Potter, I am the Clay! " Like me, you may have heard this phrase multiple times and even said it yourself. Whether you are in the church or not, this has become a popular phrase; that eventually in some cases became a cliché. However, has it crossed your mind what it really means to say " I am the Clay"?When you hear this phrase, you may imagine the positions of a “Potter” and “Clay” in this relationship. Understanding that the “Potter” makes and molds the clay to the desired finished product. You understand that the “Potter” knows the process needed to obtain the product's intended purpose. You may even imagine a “Potter” molding clay on the Potter’s wheel into a bowl. It is only possible for the clay to become a bowl if it cooperates with the Potter. The clay has to understand that its duty is only to be molded. The “Potter's” purpose will never come to fruition if the “clay” is non-cooperative.
Here on the “Be Clay” podcast, we will talk about how to accept and endure the duty of clay, as we allow the Potter to perform the same. We will explore the positions of “The Potter” and “The Clay” and the dynamics of each role. In the past years, I have learned and am still learning the roles of “The Potter” and “The Clay”. I have come to the realization that I was not fulfilling the role of “The Clay”. Instead of allowing “ The Potter” to mold me, I was fighting back and trying to mold myself. You can imagine what a mess I made! If you can relate, know you are not alone. “You are the Potter, and I am the Clay” will not be just something you say, but you will learn and understand your role and “ Be Clay”
Be Clay
What If Breakthrough Starts With Core Wounds
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One comment or one look can hit harder than a whole conversation, and that’s where this story starts. We’re unpacking the beginning of 2025, a year that feels so dense we can’t summarize it neatly, because God keeps pulling the spotlight onto what’s underneath our smile, our gifting, and our “I’m fine.” If you’ve been trying to serve, grow, and stay faithful while quietly fighting shame, triggers, or depression, you’re not alone.
We talk about identity in God and what it means to be the clay, not just as a nice phrase, but as a real process of being molded through stress, broken plans, and uncomfortable truth. We connect the dots with attachment theory, naming the “shell” we use to cope and how that shutdown affects friendships, family, and the way we show up in community. We also get honest about the tension of feeling pulled to the front while sensing that people read your heart wrong, then punish you for shrinking back.
A big theme is calling without craving fame: wanting to be used, wanting to worship with integrity, and refusing to perform when your spirit isn’t aligned. We also challenge the idea of “breakthrough” as a quick win, because healing often means God goes straight for the core wounds that drive our triggers, our choices, and our self-talk.
If this resonates, listen through, then subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review. What’s one core wound you’re finally ready to face?
You are Loved!
Not just a little, but greatly
Not just today, but forever
Not just by some,
But by the ONE who created you in His Love
And HE's Not The ONLY One
We Love You Unconditionally
&
There's nothing you can do to change it!!!!
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The Potter And The Clay Frame
SPEAKER_00Hello, hello, hello, and welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of B Clay.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for tuning in. Um, here on the B Clay Podcast. Hi, my name is Alisa, and we are learning. We're on a journey, a continuous journey to learn how to just be clay, how to allow whatever process that the potter has, we are going to embrace it and just be mooded and shaped and be thrown into the kiln. And whatever it is, you are the potter, and I am the clay. It's not just words, it's not just a cliche, but it's exactly what we're going to do, uh, and who I am. I am clay, and clay means I am to be molded. That's my purpose. So, um, I want to start. I don't have, I was thinking, I don't have any announcements necessarily as of right now. Um, we are in July of 2026, so you know we're moving, we're moving along, we're moving along. Uh, we just went through half the year, and so now we're in the latter half of the year, and so here it is. So I'm I'm excited uh to I'm not gonna say to some degree, but uh because we are again closer to 2026, and there are some things that's going on now that I'm really, really um, I guess understanding all that has gone through 2025 and prior, even the first half of 2026. And so, um,
Why 2025 Felt So Dense
SPEAKER_01but we are now in part one of 2025. Now I'm going to let y'all know right now, this episode um is not going to be like the other episodes. First of all, 2025, a lot, and I mean absolutely a lot happened in 2025. 2025 I 2025 was a year, okay? It was a year, and it seems like when you said the same thing about 2024, I did. Because 2024 was a year, and but I also told you that the end of each year is basically the preparation for the next, and that day one of that new year, uh, baby, uh, things starts right away. Um, so uh it was a year. If I looking back at 2025, if I can say or give a you know uh a title for 2025, I would say 2025 was the year where I really really learned how like what God really thinks of me. Okay, um, you know, we we're in relationship, we be in relationships, um romantic, friends, family, and we based upon in a relationship, we have an inkling to some degree of how someone may value the relationship, whether they value or don't value. Again, we have an inkling, and so what I I he really proved to me in 2025 like this is what I think about you, like this is who you are to me. I how much you valued our relationship. This is this is the year I really realized that this year, this 2025, and that's why it was so uh dense, should I say, because it was a lot. So, because of that, I'm not gonna I don't know how many parts this is gonna be, to be honest with you guys. I don't because it was a lot, every month was a lot. Um, I'm not gonna try to have 12 parts necessarily, but every month was enough. I can't even put it in like, oh, like I was coupling the two different months and things like that, but this one I don't know if I'm gonna do this. So, with all that being said, let's let's jump
Attachment Shell And Relationship Boundaries
SPEAKER_01in. This is an introduction to 2024. So when we it stopped and ended in 2024, uh basically, uh I now have the the language, I'm able to articulate what you know with my attachment theory and understanding the shell, because right, the shell that I go into as a uh as a coping mechanism, and now I'm able to now that I identify the show and the reason for the show, now I'm under understanding and I have the the right language to tell others, my family, friends, everyone else, that where I have gone into my show and they left them hanging, like, wait, what happened? I'm beginning to now let them know, listen, this is what happened, this is what I realized, it's and you know, and all that. I'm beginning to really reassess my uh relationships, my part in the relationship, what I'm gonna do, what I'm not gonna do. Like, there's certain relationships, like I said, that if you want to be with me, then there's things that you would do. Because in reality, I was in a lot of relationships, I was more the initiator of really trying to make relationship work more than the other person or the other parties. And uh, you know, at the end of the day, like even God Himself, like if you want me, then you will come to me. And we're always expecting God to come to us, and we don't really come to Him unless we need Him. So, because in reality, we expect God to take what we don't take, right? We like we we we expect God to put up with things we don't even put up with, and so but God don't put it up with it. So now I'm realizing well I'm not gonna be putting up with certain these certain things, right? So and I did start school uh at WGU in December 2024. Um technically I should have started January 1st, but you know, I wanted that uh 1098 and all that stuff like that. So I started the year before. And but I should have started January. I should have. My plan was to start in January, just start in December because WGU is a self-paced school, and my plan was to start and have at least two or three classes done in in December to because you know, for those that know that I do taxes, so tax season can be, you know, a lot. And so this will give, and then I was going to plan certain classes during that tax season, but that's not what happened. Nothing that I planned went along. So in the end of this in the end of December, I because I was in this place of reassessing the relationships and my partner relationships, um really um learning, um really learning a lot, right? That's my really I really learned a lot. I I went through another mini. It was a mini one, but it was one, an ugly face. But I was embracing this ugly face, like this ugly face was here and I didn't look as great as I want, but I wasn't allowed, I wasn't like, oh my god, I wasn't beating myself up. Um, because I had to learn how to come out of this shell that I have been in for so long. Sorry you guys. I have learned so I it was it was yes, I was learning, we were learning, and it wasn't, you know, it didn't always look great or but we were learning how to come out this shell and understanding. So
Expecting A Breakout Year With God
SPEAKER_01in 2025, in the beginning of 2025, I just thought that we were about to be on our hair popping because now I have allowed God to just like he really was just showing me, um, like he literally was showing me because remember, I was telling you guys that he was really showing my true identity, and my true identity comes from him and no one else, and so I just knew that I was because I told you that I my ultimate uh fear, I should say my ultimate fear in life is that I will leave here without giving God the return of investment while I was here, and so that's all I want is to give God the return of his investment, and so I just knew that 2025 was going to be the breakout year, right? I started a year, let's go, God. Now I got the tools, I know what to do, I know how to approach you. Let's go. This is going to be the breakout year because I was tired of the person of that grip with great potential, right? That one of who has all this in her. I was tired of just being the one that people see. There's certain people that will see and things, and they would say, Oh, you got a great calling on your life, you got this, you got that, you should be doing this, you should be doing that. I can see this, and I can see that. You're so strong, you so this, you're so this. And I'm not even necessarily saying that some of that is true because that I didn't believe that some of that was true because I did. I felt I feel the weight of what is inside of me, but I was tired of not walking and not executing what is inside. It's and it's not necessarily something that like you know, like some people they just know they got this good old voice, and they wonder, they just desire to be famous. I didn't desire to be famous, I just desired to be used. I knew and understand that what I have is not for me to just sit here, but it is to be utilized and for him and his glory, and that's all I wanted to do. Like that's all I want because that's literally all I wanted to do is just be used, like literally be used to the fullest, you know. And I was tired of just not that I wasn't being used, but I'm just talking about being used. Like I know there's something in me that need to go beyond like these, you know, or four walls or something, or just this part, like just my local community, but beyond for the world, um, so that they can know who he is for real, for real, right? And so, but I wasn't walking in it because all these things was hindering me from actually really walking in it. Like I have books in my head that needs to be written so that people so they can liberate who God who God knows they need to be to liberate, to get free from books and there were songs, and there was there was so much, there's so much things inside that I just keep them with me, and I know that it's not supposed to stay here with me, it's supposed to be out there, right? And so the weight of the calling, this calling that I have, um it used to it's it frustrates me. It does, it literally really frustrates me because it's like like I'm not here, I'm not, I'm really not here to seek fame and fortune, to be honest, because it's not about that. And I I have never, like, I have never because it's not really not about that. And I've seen people, I've seen what to to a degree. I have seen what fame of fortune has done. I have seen it where you know people first come out, they like boom, they on fire. And then all of a sudden, you know, after all the accolades and years of this and that, all of a sudden you're like, wait, what happened? Right? And I never wanted that to be that. So I'm not seeking fame and fortune because it comes with a cost, it comes with a pretty, pretty hefty cost, fame and fortune. I'm not all about their life, like you know what I'm saying? It's not about that. All I want to do is to please him. You you gave me the return investment. And I tell people that if you people be trying to figure me out, if you really want to know, all me in a nutshell is the song I'm available to you. That is me in a nutshell. All I want to do is make it completely available to him as all the time, and so um understand that my hands and my ears and my voice and my eyes is to be used by him for his glory for the people. I walk, I sing, you know, every part of that song is who I am, basically, every part. Um, you know, I do hear the cries of sinners and people that are going through and people just looking for love in the wrong places. I hear that. So being so that I hear it, what I do and I don't do matters. It matters because how am I going to answer to what I hear? What am I doing with what I'm hearing? And so I understood that all my life for the most part, and so it's like when when when you going to walk, right? Walk in this, and so in 2025, I'm like, all right, God, I see what you have been doing up to this point. So this is going to be a year where I'm going to really begin to walk in these things that you of the calling that you have given me. But one thing happened, I began to struggle immediately, immediately with this because although I know that I have this great calling on my life, like I really don't care about titles and people giving me athletes. I really don't care about none of that, to be honest, which I really don't. Like, I really don't. If no one ever says, Oh my god, you did such a great job, I'll be fine. I'm not looking for that. Um God began to do, and it's on Sabbath, just every every month was
When Gifts Make Others Uneasy
SPEAKER_01different. And where there's a lot of things are starting a month, and God really took this whole year to kind of like it's it's a lot, you guys. But so there is something that I don't I haven't really talked to nobody about until 2025. I finally uh brought it up and was on the phone for hours crying and just pouring this out because I usually keep this to myself. And um, a lot of people will see me, they will say, you know, oh my god, you have this such great gifts, even with singing, and but I don't I'll stay in the background. As big as my mouth is, I'll stay in the background, and I stay in the background on purpose because I realized through people's looks, through uh the way they kind of like uh there's certain ways that they like their looks, like their looks, they say things without saying things, right? Their demeanor around me, and because all I want to do is just be for God. Because I don't God don't play about me, so I'm playing by God. Simple as that, right? That's just how I am. So doing praise and worship or devotion, what we call it, we used to call devotion back in the day. I don't play about that because he don't play about me. You get what I'm saying? So I don't play about God. I don't, I'm not gonna just get up here and just I don't play. Now, whatever other people do, that's on them. That's between them and their relationship. But between me and my relationship with him, I don't play. I sing too much. People die for less. So I don't play when it comes to when I get up on air. If I'm not in the rights, we won't, I will stay in, I'll rather stay in the background. And so what was happening is what has been happening for years is because of people's looks or demeanors or things that they have done, and I realized that this uh great weight of this great calling on my life, and I guess I don't know, it seemed like I'm intimidating to people. I that's what that's what it looks like to me. Uh, because there's the way that people that I that it looks like people perceive how people perceive me, and versus of my real heart, right? Um, because to be honest, we all can eat. First of all, we all need each other, we can all link up together because the real enemy, okay, it's not me, it's not you, right? We understand who the real enemy is. Let's all go hand in hand and let's let's really fight the real enemy. That's my heart. Like I don't play about God, and it's not personal enough, and I don't have no issues with it to nobody. We all can eat, right? There may be some, but it seems like I'm I don't know. I felt like I'm always intimidating somebody and I don't know why, I don't know how. And so I usually just go into the background. So I sit in the back, but I realize that I was being pulled to the front. And I'm like, God, I don't need to be in the front because when I get in the front, people be acting like I'm doing something wrong to them, and I'm not really trying to do anything wrong to you. Like, I'm what I'm and then I don't even know because they don't tell me. They just they don't say it with their words, they don't say, hey, listen, I got a problem with you so we can deal with it. They just treat me so bad, you know, like they just so much backlash and I get from their, I mean, they have cutting eyes, and it's like, but why? What did I do? And I begin to feel I felt this, I actually feel this for a very long time, but I kind of kind of just kept it to myself and just keep it moving. And I'm like, it doesn't even matter, I don't want to sing anyway, because I got all this stuff going on. Like, that's what I usually be doing. That's what I say. I don't believe I can sing anyway, so whatever, but I I know that I can minister. It's all about ministering to the people because God, you know, because of who he is and ministering to him first, you know. Like it's that's that's just that's just that's just me. I don't play about God. I don't play, I don't play because yo, he is he's not to be played with. And that's another series for itself. Because God is not to be played with, he's really not. So that's just that's just me, right? So I I'll stay in the background, but I understood the pool, there was a pool of me really coming to the front, and so I began struggling from day one. Like, I'm like, all right, God, let's go. So I'm thinking that are we good? I'm good. And immediately I began to feel the weight of like mm mm, and I'm just like, what? Why? And what did I do? And so I was like, forget, and I do what I usually do. I stay in the background, and then but at the same time, when I get to the background, people are like, What are you doing in the background? Why are you back there? Like, what are you doing? You don't belong back there, and I'm like, obviously, I do, because. When I get to the front, it's it's amazing what happens. So like you're mad, the same people be mad for me to be in the front, but then they're mad for me to be in the back. It's like, what do you want? Because one thing, like I said, I don't play about God. And so, you know, whether it's personal worship, whether it's this, whatever, whenever I'm doing, like, all those things, like singing, period, like, I don't play with that because I understand what it is, like, especially, I mean, come, you know, God, Dead Devil, he, you know, you we understand for those that know, like, you know, he was an angel of music, so he's in the music, right? He's in the music, and what better way to really, there's a lot of they see, there's a lot of ways that he, you know, tactics and different uh things that he used to keep us away from God, and he one of his ways, one of his plans, one of the ways that he capture us is through music. Because he can mask, especially for those that uh are not discerners or who choose not to be discerners, but sometimes you can hear it and you just don't care because you just want to do what you want to do, you know, and but he masks, but he's fine with that. Please keep doing that, please keep doing what you want because he's gonna keep you in a state that you and then eventually you you just drift further and further away from God, and even wondering why you're going through all this stuff, and then you don't and you don't want to check what you're listening to. You don't want to check that so in January, like I really it was a struggle because I just expected that we're just gonna be going home, let us go.
Triggers, Depression, And Feeling Unchosen
SPEAKER_01And I I was starting to pull back, um, and but I felt the pull, like don't pull back, but I just couldn't shake off the this, I just couldn't shake it off, and then there was other things that now because of this and how people perceive me, it really brought up to what it was really my really inner conversations with my own self. Because which it brought me to a state of depression. I I literally started 2025, I think at about this, really within like the second or third week, I I was I went to depression. It was a lot going on. Um now in 2024, I told you I lost my I lost my car. It got repo in my you know, a couple days after my birthday. But at the end of January, I was actually able to get a car. And um that was nothing but God. We just won't say that because it was gold all the way. Okay, in no way I should have got that car. But I did, thank the Lord, he's awesome. And but I was struggling, and I was and um there were triggers that I didn't realize there was trigger, but there was triggers because all someone did was give me a look, and I just went into this, just I just started spiraling, and that's where I realized I I didn't really realize until later throughout the year. Well, like in the first half, well, later throughout the first half of the year, that it triggered the one thing that I feel, which is I'm worthless, I'm not worthy. And all everything that I do, because everything I do is just to survive. God has all has been my constant since day one, you know. And so when I came back to God at 15, I'm trying to tell you guys that all I want to do is to make sure that he's pleased because there's no way that he should still want me. And I just was not understanding why I get so much backlash, and all I'm trying to do is just to give God the return of his investment, and I haven't been giving God a return of investment because of the weight of all this stuff. So I finally was getting to the point where we're dealing with these things that is was hindering me for God to get the weight of his the return of his investment. And instead of getting, and I'm not asking for accolades, all I'm just saying is stop beating me up, stop throwing darts at me, stop like for what we all like all you gotta do is ask me, and I would have told you. Alisa, how you get here? I'm gonna tell you how I get here, you know. I'm gonna tell you why I praise the way I praise, and I'm gonna tell you why I worship the way I worship. Well, how can you get it go in so fast? I I can tell you, I can teach you. And actually, to be honest, if you watch me long enough, you can you will really understand that I'm actually teaching you because I don't play about God, I realize how holy He is, and like I don't deserve to be in a relationship with you, but you constantly is so patient with me and so long-suffering that like it pains me for me not to give you the return of your resume because you deserve it. That's simply what I want to do, just give God what He deserves. So I I did I went through a state of depression because it really bothered me that people look at me and was intimidated, and this is and you know, and so like and I and every time I was going and I was getting, you know, going to the back, and then I get it like a little beat, you know, like you don't belong there, come up here to the front, and I'm like, I can't, I can't. So I was like struggling, I literally was struggling for all of January. I really went to a depression because it was the how people perceive me versus how I really even how I perceive myself. Like I really sit there because I cry and I I just wanted to be chosen. Like I was going through a lot of things, you guys, and we're gonna get into all of it, um, the thought pattern. Um, because it really someone it's just a look that I got in the beginning of this year that triggered a whole lot of things. It triggered all of these stuff all at once. I'm trying to tell you guys. It's be like a she go because it was a war, I was going through a warm path of like so many things. And it's like, do you really? I really don't feel like oh my god, you I don't think I could, and I don't think I could sing anyway. Like, I didn't think I could sing anyway. I just love giving God the glory and honor the praise. That's all. Like, to be honest with you, like like if you really sat there and have a conversation with me, you would understand and you would know that. Like, you don't have to treat me like this, it was bad. And then so now I'm dealing with now. I gotta deal with all the reasons why why you feel that way. Why do you think that you can like all these different things? Like, it really was. That's why I say in 1225, I really, really, really believe that God was really trying to show me how much He values our relationship because all these thoughts and patterns and things that I was thinking about my own self, it's like, but that's not how that's not no, no baby girl, that's not it. Because you should know me better than that. And he really, throughout this whole year, and I I mean, at the end of the year, I realized why these things was come to the surface because we had to deal with this by the end of this, by the end of the year, and we won't go talk about it. All those things that I oh, I can't sing, and this, and what I can and cannot do. I had to throw all that away. We was until 2026, we we actually we were in July, so in June, we really got rid of the last sayings of some of the things that I was saying, and so um, so but this was the beginning because he was trying to prove to me how much he valued our relationship and how I need to value our relationship and not worry about other people, and so what they say and think that that's and that's not and it's not my job to figure out why. So if you have a problem with me, it's not my job for me to fix it, it's the job for you to go to your to go to God and you have you fix it with your problem with me. That's your job, that's not my job, and I had to relearn it in 2025. I was learning it. Um, so you know, it was a lot of Jesus God, that's why I can't do this ever. It's a lot. Um, because even like I was the it triggered a lot. It triggered um, you know, I believe that no one really fights for me. Or I'm the only one who can fight for me. Like, this is why I'm so into God, because he's the only one that can fight for me to some degree. The only ones that can fight for me is those that really know him. You know, so like you have to really, really know him to know how to fight for me. And this is very I think it was as far as I was concerned, it was a very small, small like remnant that those, you know. But and then a lot of and then it was like, but but the main ones that I really wanted to fight for me whereas m was like my dad. And like my husband, like, where's the men? Why the men don't fight for me? And it really opened up the inner uh conversation that I don't that I kept was why why is I why I was not good enough for these male factors to fight for me and protect me in my life that was supposed to do that. They chose to be my life, like you chose to be my dad, you know, and so that came up in January too, which put me into a great depression, and and that's and like I said, and it was all from this one look that they that this you know that I received. And because I had to literally I would had to look in the mirror and was like, do you know that I be struggling here? That you you know, would you looking at me like, oh, you this great person, am I? Or I'm just trying to I'm just trying to make it every single day, you know? And because this is what I really feel about myself. This is what I really think about myself. This is how I really look at me. I don't understand what you see, but what you're seeing is not how I'm not even portraying it. Uh whatever you see, I'm not necessarily even portraying it. I'm just being portraying, you know, as far as what I was concerned, I'm just trying to grab hold on to the anchor, my anchor, because if I don't, I'ma sink. I'm a I'ma sink, I'ma drown. You know? And so all of this was coming up to the surface of what I really could that look was like it did something, it cut me in such so deep because it's like you don't even know me. And and that's fine. All you gotta do is really ask me and I will tell you, but that it was hard. That's why it was hard. Oh, I struggled this first half of the year for the most part, like really, and I and I didn't really uh say too much to other people, whatever, because it was so much, and I and I didn't really know how to articulate to to to be able to speak it. So I just sat there and I and I remember being in service and and God was trying to tell me, like Alisa, like he was trying to tell me how much he loves me, and he would and he's like, Lisa, you just crying because you're talking about you want to be chosen because I felt I was like I said, I was feeling like no, well they didn't they chose me, but they chose me to do for what they chose to be my dad, but then they wasn't there for me. Where were they not even here? So I and I was really because even though as much as I wanted to give God the return of investment, I was scared that he that he was gonna drop me like every like everyone else. There was a so much that was there, and and I remember being like I said in service in that January just crying and saying, you know, and he was saying Alisa, you wanted to be chosen, but I chose you. I chose you, and he kept saying that, but I couldn't I couldn't receive it, right? I couldn't receive it, and then I was crying because I wanted to receive that so bad, so bad, so bad, and so um it was a lot of things, and then you know, although I started school and I knew that I would just have to be because you know I'm good at self-pacing and disciplining, especially when it comes to school, and I it wasn't working. I find myself working around the clock. Um that's why I said this is gonna be a couple a lot of parts because a lot has happened in one month. You think that's just one month, that's only one month. Um, but a lot of it's happened in the beginning, and because I felt because I do feel the weight and the uh of people, and um, and instead of me just well, that's their problem and that's not mine, I'll take on, and I begin like I told you, I begin to try to fix it to make it better for them or to make them feel better comfortable or whatever it is, but then I don't even know. So I was trying to do that, but then at the same time, I'm now that I'm not, I just said, God, I want you to get the
Core Wounds, Breakthroughs, And The Warning
SPEAKER_01attorney investment. I just say, Look, God, let's go. And here I am again, not doing at least my part, you know, not doing at least my part. So that is the beginning of this year. Uh 2025, and 2025 was something. Be let's be prepared because it's a ride. We're gonna be we're gonna be on a ride. We're gonna be on the roller coaster. It's gonna be a lot of twists and turns, it's gonna be there's going to be some ups, and it's gonna be some downs, and I'm you you're gonna be with me and with it all. Okay, you guys, but all this matters, and like I said, every year prepares because that uh um you know understanding, you know, because this is where I learned, and this is where I learned about core wounds. Um if you know about attachment theory, um, and when you are trying to get healed from attachment, you know, the other, you know, attachment here theories and become secure, they talk about the core wounds, and this was the year where and this is one of the core wounds that I didn't understand is what it was until months later, but this is where God was saying it's time to deal with the core wounds, and so though that cutting of you know, though that the trigger, uh, because sometimes one thing can trigger multiple things at the same time, and it's because there's so much layers and so things are so deep, that's what happened. I was triggered immediately, and all these things just put me to a state of depression, and I just kind of just sat there for like months, just sat there for months, and uh so you know, even like I um I'll I quit school, like I literally quit. Like, I'm done, like all those things just happened. It was on a sp was on a spiral um for a while, and so we're gonna get into all of that. We're gonna get into everything. We're gonna um even how to be careful in the midst of when you in this in this state um of not saying, not doing too much. I'm gonna get into that because it was just the next month that every month was baby peace. Because again, I told you, ooh, Jesus, oh god. I'm not gonna I don't want to get ahead of myself because I was just thinking about what happened the next month, but um I I knew but I didn't realize you guys that I wanted to be, I wanted to, I wanna have I wanna be ooh, jeez. I wanted a breakthrough, right? I did. I want and I was like, okay, well that's God, let's go. And I thought it was gonna be my breakout year, and it was, it really was, but I didn't realize the the God really had to shine the light on all those core wounds that I was afraid of. And here's another moment where to get where you gotta get to the root of things, and it's not easy, and it's hard when you really get to the truth and the core truth and the to the bottom line of of where things started from, right? The occasion point, the starting point of everything, and this is where we were. We was getting down to the nitty-gritty, and it was a lot, it was hard, but we made it through. And what I will leave leave with you is to be prepared. Like you can't ask God to oh, I want to break, you know, I want a breakthrough, Lord, send me a breakthrough. We got songs about breakthrough, and not and and and and not really expect God to get down to the nitty-gritty, you know, to get to those core wounds, like the core, you have to understand what the core is, right? Of your body, what what is in your core? I'm you know, I'm getting uh what the core is, right? Um they say that the core, like when we exercise, they you want to strengthen your core because your core really is in the center of your body, and it really, ooh, the trajectory of everything that you do, right? It's from the core. So this is why we gotta go right into the core rooms because it's the center of everything and what you do, every decision that you make, uh, your triggers that you hold, every mindset, all of that. It's right. So um, so let's it's gonna be a journey, you guys. This is an introduction. I'm just I'm just warning you right now, the disclaimer, it's going to be a emotional uh it's going to be it's going to be a journey. It's going to be a roller coaster. There's going to be some ups and downs and some twists and turns. Uh, because that's what 2025 was. But all there was a purpose in everything. There was a purpose in it all. Um, there was a purpose in that. Everything that you go through, everything there is, everything God allowed, there's a purpose. There's a purpose for that. There's a purpose for that. And so, um, so with that, so because how 22 and 25 is so dense, I can't summarize very quickly. I can't do by month by month. We just gonna go. We're just gonna go how it goes, and so be prepared.
You Are Loved, Closing Blessing
SPEAKER_01So, with all that, until the next time, always know and remember that you are loved not just by a little but greatly, not just today, but forever, not just by some, but by the one who created you in his love. And guess what? He's not the only one. We love you unconditionally, and there is nothing, absolutely, nothing that you can do to change that. See you later.
SPEAKER_00You are a positive, so I am a big