Be Clay
" You are the Potter, I am the Clay! " Like me, you may have heard this phrase multiple times and even said it yourself. Whether you are in the church or not, this has become a popular phrase; that eventually in some cases became a cliché. However, has it crossed your mind what it really means to say " I am the Clay"?When you hear this phrase, you may imagine the positions of a “Potter” and “Clay” in this relationship. Understanding that the “Potter” makes and molds the clay to the desired finished product. You understand that the “Potter” knows the process needed to obtain the product's intended purpose. You may even imagine a “Potter” molding clay on the Potter’s wheel into a bowl. It is only possible for the clay to become a bowl if it cooperates with the Potter. The clay has to understand that its duty is only to be molded. The “Potter's” purpose will never come to fruition if the “clay” is non-cooperative.
Here on the “Be Clay” podcast, we will talk about how to accept and endure the duty of clay, as we allow the Potter to perform the same. We will explore the positions of “The Potter” and “The Clay” and the dynamics of each role. In the past years, I have learned and am still learning the roles of “The Potter” and “The Clay”. I have come to the realization that I was not fulfilling the role of “The Clay”. Instead of allowing “ The Potter” to mold me, I was fighting back and trying to mold myself. You can imagine what a mess I made! If you can relate, know you are not alone. “You are the Potter, and I am the Clay” will not be just something you say, but you will learn and understand your role and “ Be Clay”
Be Clay
Embracing Divine Purpose: Overcoming Self-Doubt and Finding Faith
What if the immense pressure you feel is actually a divine calling? Join me, Alisa, as I share my deeply personal journey through self-doubt, technical hurdles, and the profound realization of being used by God. Discover how I navigate these challenges and still find the strength to push forward, leading to unexpected, meaningful conversations that reveal my rare nature and divine purpose. Through this, I hope to inspire you to believe in your inner potential to change lives and generations.
Have you ever felt like missed opportunities in your past are holding you back? This episode explores my emotional visit to a long-anticipated store, where a series of reflective moments brought clarity and renewed purpose. Listen to what started as an impactful conversation with my children and a profound encounter with the store owner, emphasizing the importance of embracing God-given talents and pushing past self-imposed barriers. Through creativity, resilience, and faith, this chapter underscores the journey of living authentically and embracing your true calling.
How do you break negative cycles and embrace obedience in life? Guided by a powerful scriptural passage from 1 Thessalonians 4:11, I reflect on how learning to "study to be quiet" has shaped my approach to marriage and parenting. This episode delves into the necessity of breaking free from detrimental behaviors, understanding gender roles within the family, and the transformative power of divine guidance. From personal accountability to standing firm in faith, I share experiences and lessons that highlight the importance of trusting in God to lead a harmonious and fulfilling life.
You are Loved!
Not just a little, but greatly
Not just today, but forever
Not just by some,
But by the ONE who created you in His Love
And HE's Not The ONLY One
We Love You Unconditionally
&
There's nothing you can do to change it!!!!
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Hello, hello and thanks for tuning in to another episode of Be Clay. It's your girl, alisa, and I am so happy, and so I'm just so happy that you allowed me to be a part of your day today. I'm not going to lie right now I am really lost for words. I am trying not to cry right now. I'm trying not to cry and I'm going gonna try to get through this episode without crying. So first, let me start off by saying that, uh, it's July, it's July 14th to be exact on today. Um, I do have my July, uh, the first two July episodes, uh, recorded, but there has been some technical difficulties and things and that I could not upload it. So I have to do some things in editing and to upload it, but I needed to come on here and put this out first, this episode out first. So, yes, it's a little bit out of order, but I needed to put this out first, this episode out first. So, yes, it's a little bit out of order, but I needed to put this out in order, um, because God is just so, so good. Um, god is just so good.
Speaker 1:I'm just, I'm just in awe of who he is. I I love being used by God Well, not all the time, but I love, I love being used, but I love, I love being used by God. I may not always like it. Should I say, or love the things that I have to go through or what it may require me to be used, because it's not comfortable, it doesn't feel great. When I see the, when I see the results like, or the outcome, should I say from him using me and my mind just be in my mind, I'm mind, it's just mind-blowing, like what if I wasn't here? What if I did this? What if I didn't say it? What if because sometimes I'll be ready to leave or walk away or something, but he told me, stay here a little bit longer. What if I decided, you know what, I don't feel like it. What if? Like, what if happened like this person would, would not been able to get what they needed to get. God, you're just so awesome and so All right, so let me. Oh Jesus, I'm just.
Speaker 1:I am so in awe because here's this it's not always easy being me in. A couple of episodes ago you heard me talk about it's okay that I'm rare and I had to learn, and I had to learn that I'm rare and still learning that I'm rare, but it's not always being me. Um, sometimes it's like because I can get to a space where I'm just especially, where I get to a space and all I was doing was just coming in, you know, coming to the store, buying something and leaving, but I wound up staying there for two or three, four hours talking to somebody, giving them something that they needed. And then sometimes I say it's not easy because there's other people, like my children or something like that, a lot of people. They get used to it. But it's like, yeah, but she's always talking, she's always there, she's always there, but it's not something I plan to do. I really don't, I mean literally, I really do not plan to do that, but God knows what, what is needed, what people needed, um.
Speaker 1:And so I have been back and forth and I I have been back and forth about what I'm going to do from here, even with this podcast. Um, I've said I believe I've said the one episodes about doing another podcast for just for the women and um, and my books and all these different things. I go back and forth because, um, I actually talked about this in another episode, but I'm gonna say it now, um, because I always talk myself down Like I don't see myself. I guess I don't know worthy enough, or if I'm, I don't know. I don't know what to really call it, but I just talk myself like, oh no, no one's going to listen to you. Oh no, just because they, you know, we use. Talking to these people here and here doesn't mean nobody else need to hear your story. All these different things, and, as I can't always say, is really the enemy, because a lot is really just coming from me. I can't even give him the credit.
Speaker 1:But, and so I have been, uh, I actually made the episode by this and I have been like, all right, no, Elisa, we're going to just move, we're going to do what you say, right. And so like, uh, and execute, because God is really calling you to do this. And so I started saying, well, maybe God is not really calling me, maybe you know, maybe you just, you know, just trying to be like everybody else. But I'm not trying to be like everyone else, I'm really not right, but I keep on battling back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. So today is Sunday and I made up my mind this morning. All right, no, lisa, like we're going to execute everything right Because he is calling you. But this little, even though I was saying it, I was, I was really just saying it, but not really a hundred percent believe in it, and I was saying it trying to say enough to believe that no, he is calling you to this and he needs you to just do it because you, what's inside of you, will liberate the world. It can liberate the world, it can change generations after generations after generations. This is not something that you just made up, this is in you. This is what he's been telling me over and over again.
Speaker 1:I have been getting many prophecies throughout the, throughout the years and everything else, and now is the time, this is the season, and so, um, so I'm trying to talk myself into it now, or talk myself out of going against what I know. What he's really saying is what I'm saying to you. So I go to church today, my pastor preach an awesome word and in the word there were some things that were said. There was confirmation of no, just do what God called you to do and not necessarily looking for someone else to validate you and what he has really called you to do. You know, see, I know enough of God to know when it's God and when it's me. Right, and so, because you already know, because you have done a lot of work and you went through process, you have been equipped to know his voice. Then stop fighting it. So that was so.
Speaker 1:This is Sunday in the morning in church. All right, god, he's doing, he's saying it, he could you know whatever, but there still was oh Jesus or whatever, but there still was oh Jesus. Somewhere. There still was a little whew, god it'll mm. Mm. Ah, there still was some doubt right, there still was some doubt like no, maybe no God, maybe it's not gonna work, maybe it's not. Still was some doubt like no, maybe no God, maybe it's not going to work, maybe it's not going to work for me.
Speaker 1:Oh, and not necessarily because I don't know, it's just something that keep. I keep this little small voice that keep coming, and I won't say small, but this inner voice that says it's not going to work for you, at least it's not going to work for you. And I said but why? Why? Uh, uh, uh, uh? Inner argument within myself. Like you know, this can be a success, you know. And um, just this podcast, I am going to write my books cause I keep talking about it and I don't always execute. And I know I need to. And then, um, because I know I need to, I know what's in me, but it's that the drive to just do it right, to just do it, just execute it, especially since I've been talking about it for years. I've been talking about writing books for years.
Speaker 1:I had a book that I started to write and when I was 16, called a cut off relationship. And because the computer got messed up and then the disc got messed up remember, for those who know I'm telling my age right, we had disc, we had flash drives, right, but because the disc, all you know, got messed up, messed up, I just I gave up. I give up too easily sometimes. So there still was an inner fight within myself and I was like, all right, well, I'm not going to go all the way. Or what I said was I said I was all right. Here'm not gonna go all the way. Or what I said was I said I was all right. Now here's what I said.
Speaker 1:I was into B Simone's one of B Simone's uh interview on another podcast. Um, uh, what was it called? Nice, neat, neat, nice or nice neat, something like that. And she was saying that she, when she do things, she do things scared. And I said maybe that's funny to do, because I'd be petrified to do all to do things right. And I'm just, I know, I just feel like I don't know, things just not going to work for me and it's just, I don't know. I just keep saying, oh, at least it's not gonna work for you, it works for everyone else, but it's not going to work for you. And even when opportunities presents itself for me that maybe something can work for me, I always shut it down.
Speaker 1:So I said I was listening to an extra this morning before church and so I said, no, all right, we're going to do this because we got to do it Like we got to just be obedient and continue to do this podcast and do the one for the women and everything else, because they need it. People are and people are really asking for it. Ok, so I'm like, all right, so that's before church. Then I get to church and God is moving, he's doing you know, know. And it's like come on, he's talking to me, lisa, come on, throw that away, whatever. And I'm all right, I need your help, throw it away at least. Okay, I need your help, but that stuff is still right there.
Speaker 1:So then I was talking to my children about because we have last year it was free in 2023, right, and it began with, uh, I'm, I'm, what's it? Yeah, free in 2023. That was, that was, I think, last year. It started off me getting free last year and then my children got free last year. We were getting free last year.
Speaker 1:This year I said we're walking through the door 2024. And that is to really begin to fulfill our purpose. Okay, we have purpose and I know, due to a lot of, you know, some cycles that I have picked up and some things from my family, and you know, making long story short, we are not fulfilling our purpose. We have a lot in us me as well as my children, those that know my children you know we have a lot of gifts and talents, right, that we're not utilizing to the full potential of the purpose. And I said, no, this year we're not going to continue to do that. We're going to walk through the door. We want to do it of our purpose. We want to utilize the things that he has invested in us to do and not bury it like the parable of the talents and so. But it's been a struggle because again it's something about executing.
Speaker 1:So on the way home from church, now, okay, so I'm going to pause right here and say now, due to this episode, I may it may not have snippets of the conversation that I was having with this young lady. I may put in a different episode. I don't know how much. I think I'm going to put some snippets in it and then have a full thing because my phone had died so I couldn't even finish recording it. But so my children so I live in my area, um, so my children, so I live in my area area and my children. There's a store, um a gifts, a good, not a gift a thrift shop store that my children, my younger, the younger one, the younger twins have visited on Wednesday, right on Wednesday, now, wednesday. Now I actually saw that I didn't realize until I came back to the store today, but I actually walked past it multiple times and then meaning to like go and visit the store multiple times, but I never did it.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you'll ever have one of those stories or stuff. You know how you see something where there's a TV show or something, and you'll say I'm about to watch it, I want to watch it, I want to go there, I want to visit there, and you just never go and every time you don't remember about it until you see it again. So that's what this story was, right. So when they told me about the third story, I didn't know stuff in the store and we was having a conversation with the lady and she said, hey, she's having a sale and the sale ends on sunday and that's it, like you know, and then that's it. So, mom, can we go back? So we, I said, okay, we'll figure it out. So they said it was gonna come back saturday, but they forgot they couldn't come back saturday because they was going on a trip, um, with their production, the theater program that they in, right, and so we went today. But we went today after church. Well, you know, there was multiple stops that we went to after church before we went to the store.
Speaker 1:So on the way to the store, I was just talking to my uh children, my girls, and I was like, okay, listen, um, this is what we want to do in the house, to get ready to really begin to, um, create, right, because we are creators, we have creativity me, my children and so it's time for us to create with what we have. And, um, so I'm talking to them and I began to share with them my uh, I was sharing them with my story about how, um, the fear that I have that nothing's going to happen for me, and not just because it can't a lot of us sometimes I just don't allow it to happen, and so I share with them the two stories, or two main stories, so it's three stories where, like, even with me singing, now I'm going to tell you I really, if you really asked me, can I sing? I'm going to tell you. Okay, I usually always say no, right, no, I don't, because I don't think that I can sing. I know that definitely convinced her, but I don't think I can sing. That's in there. Everybody, the people who heard me and this, any ever who I sung with blah, blah, blah. We're gonna be begging to differ, right, but that is something that I have that I'd be thinking so.
Speaker 1:Even when I said that to my children, it was like what, mama, are you serious? And they go to this whole rant, and I told them about where it came from and then also was telling them the like, the record deals that I, that the opportunities of recorders that happened, that I've basically let past me and um, and why I let, why I let past me, um, and how, even with, uh, the resilience that my children have is something that I did not tap into growing up, but I'm working on tapping into it right now and not continue in this. Allow myself to continue to uh, uh, find things, or I would just say, find things but entertain, basically entertaining the mindset that keeps me stagnant, and fulfilling my purpose, cause the, the, the ability to sing, is something that he gave me and so, and he gave me to use for his glory, and I need to just do it and stop going back and forth. Right, and that's just one thing. So, with all that, we're saying, we go, so that was on the way to the store. We get to this. We went to the store. I had to pick up my son first so we can go to the store. We get to the store and when we get to the store, um, it start pouring down raining, like right before, um, when I got to my house, was it raining? It was no. Was it pouring down raining yet it? Well, it was, it was pouring down, but then by the time we got to the store, it it was a lot more Like it was just crazy, right. And so I really realized the store, the door, the store I'm going to talk today Ugh, the owner of the store was closing the store.
Speaker 1:Okay, the lights was off when we were pulling up as I was parking the car, pulling up and parking it, and I was like, oh man, it's closing and she's locked eyes with Angela, and and then it was like, oh, okay, come on in, right. So we came in the store, the kids started. She was like, oh my God. And she started telling me about, you know, the conversation that she had with my children and how like she was just blown away with the uh, the articulation and everything with the children, like it. Basically, my children had impacted this, her, her life, in such a way that she can, she cannot shake them off. She couldn't shake them off, and so so she was telling me about it, and then it went into. I told her how I have, you know how many kids I have, and all the things like that, and we went from there and everything else. Um, when I tell you that it's crazy. It's crazy. I'm still in.
Speaker 1:So, all as I'm going, I'm just in awe of the day. I'm in awe of what has transpired, am in awe of what has transpired. We have to learn how to just be who God created us to be, and that's it Like. Stop fighting who he created us to be. The one main purpose of this podcast is, as I'm explaining my journey of learning how just to be who he called us to be, and it's not always easy.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, because people don't understand me, I feel like sometimes I might have to explain myself, especially when I get to myself and get into a zone where I cause trust, trust the belief I'm trying to explain to you guys. I don't always want to be having a conversation for five hours. I really do not. You don't understand the inner conversations that I be having with myself. I mean it's more. I mean, oh my God, sometimes.
Speaker 1:I remember one time I was having a conversation with my aunt and I was like I gotta go to the bathroom, though, guy, and he was like no, lisa, you gotta stay right here and say what you got. And I was like I gotta go to the bathroom, though, guy, and he was like no, lisa, you gotta stay right here and say what you got. And I was like no, but I don't always want to sit there and have these conversations Because inwardly it's like oh, you think I'm talking too much, you think this, you think that there's some people like, oh, lisa, here she goes. She always talking. You know, she always gotta have a five hour People who do have that response and when I say, but I really wasn't trying to, they're like whatever.
Speaker 1:And I don't always like that response. But as of today, I'm learning to just it is what it is. It is what it is Because she needed. She needed, I mean she, I'm in awe because she needed it even when she was explaining. And I think I don't know if I have it or not, because my I don't know how much my phone had uh was dying, so I think the recorder had stopped once it got to a certain percentage, so I don't even know how much I actually have um, she did uh agree to uh be a guest on this podcast, so that should be coming soon I don't know when, how we're going to figure that out, but she did agree to be a guest on this podcast, so we're going to work on that.
Speaker 1:But so, god, this episode is about just be like really just being who he calls you, no matter what, and just doing what he said, because you never know what people need. And I'm saying this because, like, really, for all those who are listening to me and have been in multiple conversations where we might have been talking for five hours and I never really explained to you, I tell you sometimes you hear me say I'm sorry, you know about the world, but then you never understood and hear the conversations and their conversations I hear. I mean that I have inside with me which is like this is too much, it's too long, people don't like you, like I really go back and forth, go back and forth. This is the part that I say that it's not easy being me because there's a response that I get from other people, but really today had taught me to. What today has taught me was, no, just do what he called you to do, simple as that period, be that today.
Speaker 1:The word today was first of all, test and loans 4 and 11, which is started to be quiet and and know, basically, mind your own business. And so I really had to, and I learned that scripture a very long time. I was a kid when I learned that. I was like, oh, look, I'm gonna say mind your business, right? If my mom listens she's laughing. Because I was like, oh, mommy, the bible said mind like so. But because I was, I was a kid when I learned that I said, mommy, the Bible tells you to buy your best, like whatever. But yeah, but, with all that being said, but that's what the Word says. The Word says the first that's only 411, to study to be quiet. And so I have got. I became jeez.
Speaker 1:So I was in a season where I had to really learn how to really be quiet. Okay, and in that season of learning how to be quiet and that's be quiet as a wife, okay, be quiet as a wife. And now all these women, I can hear that's hard, yes, I understand it. It was very challenging to learn how to be quiet, but I did. I have to, and I'm seeing the fruition happening now of learning how to be quiet. I had to learn how to be quiet and I did it and I'm seeing, wow, this is working. And so that was the end. When I seen that was working, I began to tell the people and this is where the women. And when I seen it was working, I began to tell other people. And this is where the women the podcast for the women is happening and I got to write this book Right.
Speaker 1:So I started talking to the owner. We was already talking about you know different things, how many kids I have, you know, from woman to woman, mother to mother, because she was just so in all of my children and the impact that they had at such a young age on her. Like she said we was, it was just her talking about the impact. But I think she said a business partner who was also like, is that children here? Yet? And they was look, that she was looking for my children and that just goes to show about like when I was saying about even forgiveness, about how what's in you is in your children, and because our children, like, we have the uh, we as human beings have the ability to impact people. You know what kind of? What kind of impact do we want to be on people? Right, and I have been saying this for a while now People, you know she asked me as well like what is it that made you get into this space that you are in now, like, how'd you get here?
Speaker 1:And she also asked me what is the thought that you keep going back to that make you not change and continue to go, to move in the way that you're moving? And I said my children. I got six of them, I guess a lot of kids and I'm understanding that there's a lot of thoughts and issues because I talked about I really did, I talked about a lot of stuff and um, and she said, um, I talked about a lot of things and I talked about cycles. And I told her, like I don't want the cycle to continue with my own children.
Speaker 1:The buck got to stop here and in order for me to have that happen, I got to do things different. I can't do the same thing my mama did. I can't do the same thing that my daddy did. I can't do the same thing my aunties and uncles and all of them. I got to do something different the uncles and all of them. I got to do something different. And what is different? I can't even do. I can't even do it my way. I've been doing it my way for so long and it's definitely not working. So I had to learn.
Speaker 1:So when the Lord said be quiet. First of all I'm like, and I was like I don't know about all of that, but then I thought about it. At least you've been doing it your way for so long. It wasn't working, and the main space that I got that at that time he told me I was up there fighting, because I know I opened my mouth when he told me not to not to say anything, and it messed up a lot of stuff. So I might as well do something differently.
Speaker 1:And so I'm in such an awe of being obedient and allowing God to do things where he wanted to do it, because one of the things that I was definitely learning in my seasons is because my problem was I wanted to be the water and I wanted to plant seeds and I wanted to give the income I mean the outcome. But you can be planting seeds or you can be the waterer, but God is the one that gives the increase. And so I have learned to just do what, to go with the flow. That's my new thing now. That's what I've been saying, because I've been wanting to know every little thing about it. But no, it's now time for me to just go with the flow, no matter what it is. Just go with the flow, go with the flow.
Speaker 1:And so, and it was hard because, like I had a plan for today, I had a plan I was going to do this. I was going to church, we're going to the store I had to go to, then I had to go to Wawa to pick for the Amazon locker, then I had to go to Staples, and then I had to do this and I do that, and so you, I had a thing, but then sometimes God will put a uh, you know like no, you're just going to stay here for a little bit longer. And I'm just in. So in all, because, as um, as the conversation, the conversation, the shift happened in the conversation with is, I had to go to Wawa to get changed and I came back.
Speaker 1:When I came back from Wawa and as I came in front of the store, I realized, oh, I knew this store because she was telling me she was here for a very long time. And I'm like, how did I go past this store so many times? And I've seen it, this is before I went to go get changed. When I came back from change, as I'm really looking, uh, cause when I pulled up I didn't pay attention to, like this. I don't know. I don't know it was raining too, so I really didn't pay attention. But now, at this time, actually stopped raining, the sun is out, everything was all beautiful, right.
Speaker 1:So, um, I realized, I realized like, oh, I know this store, I've been seeing this store, I'll go roll past, like I need to go check this store out. But I never actually checked the store out because I just automatically assumed that whatever they have in there I cannot have, whether it was too much money or, um, they're not going to have like my size or something like that. Right, that's what I. But I still want to go check it out because they might have something for other people, like my kids and stuff like that. But I just automatically assume that there's nothing in there for me. And so when, as as I was paying for the stuff that my children was buying, and I just looked outside and said, wow, this is crazy.
Speaker 1:And I actually said this, thought out loud, and I said you know what? I actually have been coming past the store multiple times and been meaning to come in, but it's really something. And I said it's something about perception, because I perceive that what was in here, either one I couldn't afford it, or there was nothing here for me, like you know, size, like shoes and blah, whatever case and be, but that just go by perception. Now, first of all, I'm surprised I actually opened my mouth and said this like who's, why would you say something? But that's where it shifted and we went into such a conversation to the point that after a big time she was like oh my God, everything that was coming out, I need it. She said, which I don't think this is actually in, because I think my phone is about to die, so stop recording. But she was just like.
Speaker 1:Now, how I started recording is because as the conversation evolved into so much and I really was going into things that I have learned from a childhood, from here this, I got here, this, I got here, this, I got here and you know everything and she was just like oh my God, this is going to make no sense. Oh my God, like she just just. Oh man, like she was just she's like I got chills. Like she just kept saying I got chills, I got chills. Like oh my, I just can't, uh, and she was like no, come here. She's like I'm not thinking of chair, like she was, and then she was just so in awe because she was, she closed the store. Not only did she close this, she was about to close the store and she opened so that we can come in and I'm giving all these things.
Speaker 1:But then other people came in, so she even made more money and so and this is what I was saying, because when other people came in the store I really wanted to stop talking, like I was like you know, people in the store, let me stop, let me leave, because that's what I'm like here you go, you talk too much, or whatever case may be. But she was like no, I know she wanted me to finish whatever sentence I was at, whatever thought I was. She wanted me to finish and not really skip a beat. These, I tell you, just be obedient, go with the flow. I'm just, I'm really.
Speaker 1:I needed all of this to happen for me, in a way that it happened to learn to just continue, to just go with the flow of Lisa. Stop with all this back and forth. This inner, you know, oh my God, what if this and what if that? Like, just throw all this stuff away, because you know, if God, especially once I realized that this is God ordained, obviously because, again, she was about to close the store. She opened the store and I was paying and then I was going to leave, but this went and shifted and I realized that this because she was like you know. She said to me that this is the longest I've ever been quiet to listen. She said people talking to me and I pour out, but I never really allow someone to pour into me and this, like in this capacity, once I learned that, um, in this way and like you know, this must be God that this ain't just me Cause it ain't me Cause I wanted to walk out the door a long time ago. I had stuff to do and, um, um, there was other things that I wasn't prepared for that just now happened. So now I've got to figure something else out. But I'm telling you, just now, go with the flow, like, really learn.
Speaker 1:We talked about really we ended the day because my daughter, she was just so excited over the word today that she learned about Phyllis Thurston, lawrence 411, that the Bible says study to be quiet and mind your own business. So we kind of ended on that, was she even that? My daughter's like? Oh the Bible's. Like she was just, you know, so passionate about it and she said, oh my God, that's why I need passionate about it. And she said, oh my God, that's why I need, I need to mind my business, like I don't. And that even hearing that word was like oh my God, I can't like it, just like blew her away and she just was like I need to mind my business, like I don't need to be in here, I don't need to do this and I would do that. And she getting she was talking about how she's getting the war, she was talking about this and everything else and she said I could just mind my business and just keep it moving, like I don't need to be, I don't need to do this, I don't need to do that.
Speaker 1:And then, as we're talking and I'm teaching about giving grace, you know, especially as women, and we're not giving men the grace they need to be who they are and they men and understanding and learning that these men that we so mad at it all day, nothing, men ain't nothing. Those men was once boys and some, some of these men that wasn't able, because whatever they grew up in was able to learn, to really grow. They stood that little boy because they stopped growing mentally. For whatever reasons. Things may happen, trauma happen, parents, this and all those things and now they're a man, they're trying to do, make it, but then we get so mad and angry and we belittle them. This is why I'm. She beat me up today. She was like you better get this book out of here. Oh my god, we need this, I need this book. Oh my goodness, oh my god, like I need. Oh god, you can, oh, what you have can liberate so much women.
Speaker 1:And I needed to hear that in a way, just not just like a confirmation, but just like at least to stop with this, like this inner, like these inner conversations with yourself, that you want to go against what he's really telling you to do and just be obedient, like in this season. Learn to just be obedient, no matter what, like no matter what. Just be obedient. Do what he's calling you to do, say what he's calling you to say what he wants you to say, and don't worry about people. Don't worry about who's going to like it, who's not going to like it, don't worry about what. Even that response of oh, here you go with lisa again. She always talking like even when I came home. It's just like. That's why I don't. You know whatever. It's just like.
Speaker 1:But don't worry about that response, understand that someone life has been enriched because enriched someone's life has. Like you, you have literally, as she said, like you don't understand, you don't know that you free me from so much by just the words that you said. Like you broke it down in such a way that, like I could get it now, cause I heard this in one way and I heard this in another way and I was thinking this and I was thinking that, but I didn't understand it. But you explained it in such a way I got it. I needed that, like she I mean, she said she was having chills the whole time and multiple times I wanted to leave, and not necessarily because the conversation, I just felt like I was a burden, like all these different things that was coming up. I didn't go, obviously, cause I was like no, we're going to be obedient.
Speaker 1:And she wanted and people was coming in. There was two girls that came in and, you know, came in for one thing and left, and so then it was another set of people that came in. They came, so it's two girls that came in, looked at some stuff and then left, and then they came back and they bought three items. And then some another person and that was a group of people came in. That's the one she knew. They came in and they purchased some items, but even why they were saying I was all and then they were standing longer than the girls. So I really wasn't going to say stuff, I was going to be quiet because she know these people, she might want to have more conversations to interact with them, but it was like no speak and I was just like I want to continue speaking, like I feel like I'm being rude, like it was just a lot of things that was going through my mind.
Speaker 1:But obedience, that's why obedience is better than sacrifice. Like it. Obedience, that's why obedience is better than sacrifice. Like it is a sacrifice and it's better than sacrifice. I just be obedient into whatever he is telling you to do, because even in that I can see the, the um, the.
Speaker 1:There was a male that came in and then this time, the conversation that I was having with her actually was about our role as women and what we do, and with men and um and what, and the relationships and things like that. And so, because I'm in this space where, um, because I'm in this space where for those who follow me or know me, hear me I'm in this space where the Lord has really been dealing with me for a very long time, even as a child, about the role of a woman, and I kind of threw it away. I threw it away once I knew that was there. There was things that I was seeing as a child, um, when I my grandmother, I was talking to my grandmother about it, but then she, I told her she died at five, and so, um, after that, um, I tried to do myself but I couldn't. But then I remember I told you guys that I said, uh, in the, in my episode about my father, I told you that I, um, got to a point at a very young age where I said I have to be the man of the house because my father wasn't in a place to really protect us, and more so, not just physically, but more so spiritually than anything. And so, um, there were some things that I was seeing and knowing that I feel like, well, you're not seeing, so I guess I got to do it myself.
Speaker 1:Once I got into that space of I got to be, you know, the man of the house, and it was like, no, you can't be the man of the house and be a female, and so you can't and you can't even be for them. You have to protect them. That's what I was saying. So I threw away that burden of the as he was teaching me their role and I began to adapt all the things that the women in my family that was teaching me. That really was not the right way and I knew it. But it didn't matter, because this is the way that everybody's doing it.
Speaker 1:That independent spirit that we had, that independency that not only do we have to be mastered, but it destroyed the homes. And so I understood that. But it is what it is and I was like, well, it doesn't matter, because I'm not getting married anyway. This is what I was thinking growing up. Obviously, you know it ain't true, because I'm married, right, I've been married, I'll be married for six. I am no, it's been 16 years, right.
Speaker 1:And so in the beginnings of my marriage, god had was like at least you got through that way. And I was like you're crazy, because it's all I know. So I went through a series of a process, not a series, but through a process of learning how to throw away the independency series, but through a process of learning how to throw away the independency. That is the story right there, and with learning and then relearning how you know the roles, the way he intended for it to be, the way it is now, how it got here, and so on, and that. But there was a lot of things that I had to go through, especially since because, like, I forgave my father, but there still was some behaviors that I have learned due to my father not being in the home, due to when he was in the home and the things that he did or said, or whatever case may be, and so that I picked up and said, well, all men is going to be like this.
Speaker 1:And so what happened was I began to beat my husband up with a lot, you know, and really do a lot of damage. And so, when it got to the point where I saw that, uh, it was a lot of damage and but because, because we got to a place where we, even though we both were hurting each other and didn't know how to stop, but his was more outwardly, everyone can see his stuff. Everyone can see my stuff, but everyone can see his stuff, um, and they can because they see his, because it's more outwardly. They beat him up for it and I allowed it in some cases, but then I was in space. Look, I can't allow this. I do have, um. I mean, I play a part in this. I really do play a part, and even when I was telling people I play a part, they was like no, elisa, uh, you're wrong, like you, like you might play theisa, you're wrong, like you may have played a part, but you're gonna play a dead bigger part. But I know. No, I played a big part in this.
Speaker 1:And so what happened was God was like no, listen. Now it's time to uproot all of those things that I've been showing you all this long, and I need you to sit down, be quiet and listen to me so that I can, so that you can throw away all that you have learned and relearn your role, um, as a woman. And so when I get there, I have gotten a lot of opposition from a lot of women. Right, it's okay, I love y'all, it's okay. And of what I was doing, especially when I said I was going to be quiet, right. But in this, in that season of being quiet and started to be quiet, the Bible says started to be quiet, right.
Speaker 1:So, in that position, in that season of learning and studying to be quiet, um in mind in my business, and standing, standing firm. This is what you told me to do, though, god, and I got to stand firm and I got to stand here and I'm not moving. Ok, it wasn't easy. Of course not because I'm still a female. Sometimes I felt like this and I felt like that, and you know that's not fair. This is how I come in All of everything you think I thought I did, but the one thing that had me got back to the, to the point one my children, because the six of them, and if you don't get together, you're going to continue. Two, so I said I have to, because I said I had to learn how to be that first P to three, wife and with all, and.
Speaker 1:But then I realized how many people were watching me. And. But then I realized how many people were watching me and I was seeing the impact that was having on their lives by watching me, and so I was just telling my past. I was like it was just like I said, there was just this time last year when I said to you I've got to go through this, I can't, I cannot shy away from making this stand. I have to you. I got to go through this, I can't, I cannot shy away from making this stand. I have to make this stand.
Speaker 1:And now we're looking and seeing like, wow, look at God, because he's doing it. And so in this season, let's learn to just be obedient. Let's learn to mind our own business and stop looking at everyone else for validation, stop looking for everyone to tell you how you should, and just go to God himself and let you tell me what to do. I even thought about God what if I do it? I was going to change the way I'm doing it. He said, no, don't change nothing.
Speaker 1:Because one thing I have to understand there is people that are assigned to me that need me to continue to stand Because they are over somewhere in the world that God is requiring them to make a stand, the similar stand in their life, where you can't do like everyone else is doing. You can't watch what everyone else is watching, you can't listen where everyone is listening, you can't. You just can't do it because he, you are in a season, you were in a place that if you do that, that you're going to suffer you. That is your kryptonite, okay, and it's hard because people always want to tell you what you should or should not do. Who are you to tell you? To tell people what they should or should not do? Like, if I don't curse, right, I don't curse. Now, who are those who curse? I don't, it is I'm out of business, right? I really't curse. Now, who are those who curse? I don't curse, it is I'm out of my business, right? I really do, I'm out of my business, it is what it is. I don't come to bat it, but I don't curse.
Speaker 1:And you got people out there who are Christians, like, oh, it's okay, don't even say in the Bible not to curse drinking. I really don't drink like that, I really do not. I think I did some last year because I was going. I don't know too much, but even that I think I, after a while I was like you know, I like going back to not really drinking, but I really don't. I had a conversation with my father one time when we was at a place, uh, and someone asked, I think, did he get a drink. I don't know if he got a drink or not, but the conversation went to a drink and he said because I said but according to quote, quote, and I'm saying Christians, there is no problem with drinking.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, who told you, now, if you say you're a Christian, you say that you're Christ-like, and one thing Christ did. He always said I'm going to do this. My father told me and half of us, not really asking as much, uh, asking the father, is it okay for me to do? And then we go off of you know, and the general so-called rules that you say. Oh, you said that, uh, um, don't be drunken with wine. But God, that might be your kryptonite, that may be why you're still in the stuck in this place, but you will never going to know that because you don't, you don't want to seek him to make sure it's just what he wants you to do. You're going off of well, you, you know you ain't saying the general, but that this is certain things that God say for you.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to do this. Just like there's prophets, right, you got Jeremiah, you got Isaiah, you got it and you got Ezekiel. He specifically told Jeremiah not to marry. So Jeremiah decided to marry. To him that is sent Now. It was not a sin to get married. He never. He he put in a word yes, I want y'all to marry, cause I don't want y'all up here just doing all what you want to do and fornicating Right. But for Jeremiah he said do not for what I call, for what his purpose was and what the calling was on his life, for what was about to take place in his life. God didn't want him to marry.
Speaker 1:And there's some things where God is saying I really don't want you to do this, I don't want you to smoke, I don't want you to drink, I want you to do something. But you so caught up trying to do it because everybody else is saying no, or you want it so-called. Basically, what you're really trying to do is trying to prove the church is self-wrong, but the church is not. So you understand, when we are as Christians or as believers, people are not our enemies. Okay, the Bible says that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. So why are we continue to try to prove, quote, quote, the church wrong, cause that's really what it is. Oh, I can drink. It really, don't say it. Oh, I can smoke, oh, I can say that you can, because God himself told you that you can. Say that you can because God himself told you that you can.
Speaker 1:And for those who God is actually convicting for not drinking, for not smoking, cursing, et cetera, leave them alone. That's one thing. It gets me because it's like how do you know that it's not going to do nothing for them? You don't know, it may do something, I know.
Speaker 1:For me, even the stand of not cursing and still being here is some people I have seen it that they needed me to be in a place where, like I have to this, as much as the impact that I have on people, as much as the impact that I have on people is because I choose to take a stand that others will not take. I choose to be set apart. When everyone else say it's OK to do this, I choose to say hey, although it costs me more, it costs me friendships, it costs me friendships, it costs me friends I'm most likely alone in most of my areas being the fact that I need diesel for me to fuel, uh, for for this vehicle to be able to be utilized, instead of taking regularly like the majority of people are taking, but it costs more. But I choose to pay that cost. Why? For the things like today.
Speaker 1:So, when everyone else have, I, if I had a conversation with you and you like, oh my God, I felt chills. If you had a conversation with me and you know we started off with one and it has, uh, evolved in something where you are now walking like oh my God, you were, you can say dag, I was really having an issue, but now I had a conversation with Elisa and she just helped me out. I got free of this. I got free of that. That is because I chose to do it the way he's telling me to do it, regardless what everybody else is saying, regardless of how many people are naysaying, because majority of things that I do, a lot of people like I don't agree with that. You don't have to do it like that. It take, that's too much. You can still do it this way and be okay. God is going to be okay. I have heard it all. You can still do this. God going to forgive you. He knows your heart and you know you can still drink, you can still, you can do, you can still do all this. But God was like no, this you cannot. You cannot do all of that. And because I chose to be talked about because, because I chose to be laughed at, because I've chose to just say, hey, I can't, I'm able to do what the say of the Lord I am. I mean, she said I freed her from so much stuff I she couldn't even express in words how much I freed. She said she just wrote down all this stuff and everything that she wrote down, basically, I just said I showed her, I told her, I gave her, uh, you know, basic instruction just, and she was tested as we was having a conversation, and she passed this test. And now she's up there like, oh, my God, I can't believe I passed the test, like it.
Speaker 1:All of this happened because I chose. I chose to stand and be who he called me to be and not go after what everyone else is doing, how everyone else think I should do it. And I've been talked about. I am being talked about on the outside. Look it in. It looks like I'm losing, but I'm telling you I'm winning because there is no fail, there is no failure in him, and that's something I needed today. I needed that encouragement for me to keep moving.
Speaker 1:The way he tells me to move, no matter what to say what he told me to say. How he tells me to say no matter what to to just do like he told the disciples that they don't want to listen If they want to hear dust off your feet and keep it moving. He got me and because he got me, I don't I mean, I don't care no more of what people are saying, I don't care how people are listening, cause there's people out there. It's proven. Today my kids was out there like, oh, my God, see my. I told you, mom, you just got to be like. Even my kids are seeing the, uh, the fruits, okay, the fruits of the spirit. He's there, seeing with their own eyes and like, in understanding, oh, what mommy was saying really makes sense.
Speaker 1:And now, like, all of that, and all of that is better than anything, anything. I don't need to be accepted anymore by everybody, I don't need to be understood by everybody, I don't need to be validated by everybody. I just need to do it the way he is telling me to do it, and I encourage you to do the same. So what it doesn't sound correct, so what it doesn't make any sense. If you for those in the word if you read the word. And nothing God told us made any sense. Nowhere where there were all the big old grand gestures or times where God just showed up. The way he showed up never makes sense. Parting the Red Sea doesn't make sense. Everything was unorthodox, Like it's just the walls of Jericho. Every I mean we can get the list can go on and never make sense. So why would it make sense? Now, that's it I.
Speaker 1:She told me how much I poured into her, how much, like I mean, her cup was just overflown. Like she, I really I didn't want to cry because my other daughter was just like ready to go home. The other two was like we can go all day, right, but I knew if I started crying we would just been there bawling. So I was like I'm gonna come hold it in and I'm still holding it, but I'm selling all of me being obedient. And now this woman and I'm gonna put the her, uh, her shop, her Instagram in there so y'all can follow her and everything else. The store is called I Spy you by First Store, so check her out. But now she can.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, it's because I jeez, if I didn't make that stand. I'm just saying I'm just really thinking like, what if I didn't make the stand? What'm just saying I'm just really thinking like what if I didn't make this stand? What if I wanted to be like everybody else? What if I was doing the way everybody think I should do? You should just leave, you should just. You know, you should just do this. It's okay, you can do this, you can do that. What if I just did it the way they wanted me to do it? Then what? Then I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing now. You don't know the cost of your disobedience. You don't know how much it's going to cost. You don't know the people's lives that you're going to cost. I'm going to end with this. I'm in with this.
Speaker 1:Um, when I was in school, um, right, I was, uh, I have a I had a friend that I meet up after class, right, and we chill for a minute and then go back to our, then go to our next class. And when this one day, uh, as I was, um, on my way to our meetup spot, the Lord had told me something, he said Elisa, tell her this, tell her not to go, uh, to this place, to go home, as we said. He said Tell her to go home, right, and tell her this. I said you know what I think? I said you know what I think you should go home, you know? And and I didn't, I said no, I can't tell her that because she gonna think I'm crazy. Like, how am I tell her, listen, god is telling me to tell you to go home. He said listen, just tell her. God said go home, right, that's what he said. He said just like that, tell her that. God said go home. And I'm like no, she's going to think I'm crazy. Like, oh my God, no, I ain't going to do that. Like you know, not play, but we, you know I see her and you know, whatever the day Laura, she goes to where she had to go.
Speaker 1:This lady have received a. She had received, she received the disease right. When she told me that, I said oh my god, right, cuz I didn't listen, I didn't do what he told me to do. We don't know the cost of our disobedience. Like we don't know the cost. And you would think that that when that happened, like I and I and I still not, never even told her like unless she listened to this and and kind of like, put one plus one, two plus two, and realizes her. She still didn't know. And I was, and I was even embarrassed to tell you, like God, god told me not to tell you to go and then you got this. But we never, like we don't know the cost of our disobedience. You don't know how much it costs for you not to say what you're supposed to say. Do what you're supposed to do and not and not do what you're supposed to do, like we don't.
Speaker 1:Who is people? Why are we up here trying to please people? Who is people right? Who is people People? Who is people? We're another. They, another creation. So do whatever he tells you to do and how he tells you to do it. Just do it.
Speaker 1:I have, I plead with you to do the work for you, like study, to be quiet. Be quiet in this season, god, you need to show me me. Stop worrying about everybody else and and when they're going to get right, you get right first, because you want a person you can control. That's one thing we definitely was talking about today. It's like you got to learn. You got to learn how to get right yourself and now you know get right yourself and you know, get right yourself. Stop worrying about everybody else. Worry about yourself. You do the work for yourself. You do so like seek Listen, get it right for yourself in this season. Get it right yourself, right.
Speaker 1:We talk about practice what you preach Like you do it. Stop looking at everybody else. Stop looking at them. Look at yourself. Look in the mirror. What are you telling me to do? What am I allowing to keep me stagnant? What is it? What is it? Where am I? What season am I in? Look at your own plate. Do what he tells you to do, because some of those things you're doing just because other people say, or you just want to do because you just want to do you, and if that's, you just say that I want to do me, I really don't care what God's telling me to do. But be honest with yourself. Like, really look to the root of what it is Right. That's how I was trying to find the loophole.
Speaker 1:As parents of multiple children, you may right. As parents of multiple children, you have a general rule for your household, but, depending on your children, you have different things you want them to do. I got six, so there are certain things that I might tell Isaiah to do, I can't tell Imane what to do, because they're Two, the same age, they're maturity level. Everything is different. That's the same with God. So if he tell, if he's telling Susie, yeah, you may Listen to secular music, but he tell you I don't want you to listen to secular music, don't listen to it. And Susie don't even say oh, so don't listen to it. And soon as you don't even say oh, so why you don't listen. Second music, because God ain't telling me listen to it. And maybe he only telling me for a season.
Speaker 1:There are certain seasons where God was telling me, told me I couldn't, it seemed like every other season, I can't do something, but that's what he had me. And then if I do it now, then what? Now, that was last season, this is a new season, right? Or that was yesterday, was yesterday, today's a new day. Wherever he has, you, be in it, do it and be okay and not worry about other people, mind your business, work on yourself, be obedient to God and what he told you to do, because there's people out there and you don't know the cost of your disobedience.
Speaker 1:If I didn't, if I left, she wouldn't have received what she needed to receive and I wouldn't receive what I needed to receive because I needed that confirmation. And she was pouring out to like you, don't like you. Just, you just kept saying over and over again like you don't know what you like, this is this, and she was showing me how, like I wrote this. Now you said this, like you broke it down, like I needed to hear all of that to prove it to myself, elisa, and to remind me because I actually preached that word you don't know the cost of disobedience and all I need you to do is be obedient and let God worry about the outcome. And so I'm ending on this note and I'm going to put up I guess in the multiple and other episodes, when I put up there the different, like different pieces of our conversations, because it was pretty deep when we were talking, she was like girl, you need to record this.
Speaker 1:This could be on your podcast now. Oh my God. Like she was just so. So I started recording and that's what happened. We already talked a bunch of stuff, but this is when I started recording, and so she asked me to put it up on here. So I'm putting it up. Um, in the podcast about this. I'm gonna put it up in a different um in the other two episodes, when I finish uploading those and other episodes, little bit pieces there of the conversation that we're having, um. But but until the next episode, you guys, until the next episode, know that I love you and there's nothing that you can ever do about it. Ok, that's one thing about agape love. There's nothing you can do to change it. My love is not by condition, it's unconditional. And learn to be quiet in this season. Begin to mind your business and work on yourself, because you don't know the cost of disobedience. Look to God for what you should do, and not necessary people and not even yourself. See you later. You are the poster, so I have a big leg, big leg.